


Duality

by larxenethefirefly



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 09:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larxenethefirefly/pseuds/larxenethefirefly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was like viewing the flip sides of a coin; complete opposites, yet achingly familiar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Duality

**Author's Note:**

> You know how stories tend to take on a life of their own? Well, this one did exactly that. Also un-beta'ed, so any mistakes are mine :)

It was like viewing the flip sides of a coin; complete opposites, yet so achingly familiar that Rose often had difficulty differentiating.

Where her first Doctor was all ice cold intensity and brittle, fragile sadness, this new Doctor is heat and energy and a raging wildfire. She used to have to chip away at the barriers of his mind and heart, patiently sculpting and revealing the beautiful man within. Then she had to brace herself for the fire and run right through the inferno, doggedly continuing until she reached the heart. Yet both her Doctors, while able to talk for England, never revealed anything about themselves. Even then Rose was still getting bits and pieces at random moments, when he would let something slip accidentally and then rush to cover it up with another anecdote, another insult, or another adventure. It was something she found comforting, in the early days of his regeneration. The new Doctor’s unease at personal history, the way he still skittered from commitment, was so much like her previous Doctor that it took her shorter than she expected to accept this new man in her life. He would still find every excuse to hold her hand, hug her, and mock her need for sleep. He would still gain the same stormy, dark, dangerous expression whenever someone opposed him, whenever she was threatened, whenever the Time War was mentioned. She always did her best to break him of these moods, and though her method changed, the result was always the same: move on and don’t mention the experience again. Then there were times where he would do something so unlike her first it took her a moment to remember who he was and what he was. Willingly staying for dinner and tea with her mum, leaving her behind on an empty space station and breaking promises, and actually listening to her ideas without a disparaging remark or insult all told her he had changed. Not necessarily for better or worse, just changed; a man who in many ways was more suited for her, but just as unattainable as the other.

So when she lost both Doctors, her icy first bursting into flame and the warmer second fading away, she smiled bitterly at the irony, wiped away her tears, and determined that she would find a way back again and again until she forced it through his thick skull that she was there to stay. And find her way back she did- only for him to leave her once more.

But as Rose watches this new new new Doctor, as manic as her second but as broken and confused as her first, she realizes that she has the best of both her Doctors. Like her original Doctor, he is terrified of being alone, and where others would find his attachment annoying, she sees the action as what it is: the desire to know that someone is there for him, to combat the loneliness and terror of being alone and a shield against the encroaching madness. He’s overprotective and prone to jealous fits, but his grin lights up the world and his home is wherever she is. Like her second Doctor he is bubbling enthusiasm and cocky attitude, complete with vanity and affection. He is rude and always quick to point out the cons before the pros, but never skimps on the praise. Like both he oozes charisma and makes friends instantly, all madcap genius, frightening intensity, and harebrained schemes that leaves Torchwood employees pulling their hair out in frustration at all the broken protocols and rules but Rose just takes in stride. Yet in his darker moments he is the fury of the storm, the darkness of the void; his stare pierces the soul, and nothing, absolutely nothing, can stand in his way. This is nothing new, and this is a comfort.

However, he is a new man as well. She watches and experiences with him as he discovers new quirks, some that are Donna and some that are him. She cheers with him as he discovers the ginger highlights out in the bright midday sun, cries with him as he realizes that his part-Time Lord mind still isn’t enough to retain 900 years worth of memories, worries along with him as he tries out new foods, and discovers that he still hates pears but isn’t a fan of marmalade anymore. She laughs at his joy of fashioning a new-and-improved sonic screwdriver (able to go through wood, this time, although he had to sacrifice settings 10001a through 20065j to do so), and fears along with him as Pete is hospitalized from a heart attack. He isn’t afraid to tell her his feelings, to take that next longed-for step in their relationship, to live in a house with carpets, curtains, and other things that begin with ‘c’ as well as a mortgage. The intensity at which he makes love to her takes her breath away, but the tenderness in which he says his vows and places the ring on her finger swells her heart with love and the overflow forms as tears in her eyes. He is perfect, this Doctor, made to fit her life even better than she had dared to imagine, and nothing will ever to cause her to regret this.

And now, as she holds their newborn child in her arms and he holds her in his, cocooning this miracle in love, she looks up and sees the fire and ice clash and stabilize as overwhelming pride and disbelief surface in his expression. This is an experience that is his, his alone, and though he still holds all the rage and sadness of her first Doctor and warmth and energy of her second, he holds them in balance in his single heart. For the first time since she has known him he is at peace.

Rose smiles and leans against his chest to listen to the steady, reassuring rhythm that beats out a promise of forever as their child wraps one small hand around his finger.

* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=49670>


End file.
